This true story won First Place in last year's Criminal Lawyers Award contest. Special thanks to Dr. David Goldenberg for sharing it with our readers. This took place in Charlotte, North Carolina. A lawyer purchased a box of 24 very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the … [Read more...]
GED Examination – Mind-boggling Answers – Laugh or Cry
GED Education? Some of these folks may be working for us, following graduation of course! The following questions were included in last year's GED examination. These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds) . . . and they WILL breed. Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A. Flirtation makes … [Read more...]
Right to be Stupid vs New FSA – Federal Stupidity Agency
Right to be Stupid: It's not the economy, stupid, but ramp up stupid to spur the economy. A guest "anonymous" post from a favorite contributor. I'll give you a hint: He's not a plumber. At first read, I thought this headline was a joke: "Google - a prominent beneficiary of national home loan and foreclosure crisis of the past two years." Every form of media that accepts money in exchange for … [Read more...]
How Bad is the Economy? Bought a Toaster & Received a Bank.
THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT. . . I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail. CEO's and Doctors are now playing miniature golf. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. I bought a toaster oven and my free gift was a bank. Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America. Motel 6 won't leave the light on anymore. A picture is now only worth 200 words. They renamed Wall Street to … [Read more...]
Smile/Laugh Through the Holidays – Especially if You’re Flying
Words of wisdom to help you laugh/smile your way through the holidays. The first five below are by Jane Seabrook, an illustrator and designer who lives in Auckland, New Zealand. You can't be young forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life. I would be unstoppable if I could just get going. If there's no chocolate in heaven, I'm not going. I live in my own … [Read more...]
Why God Created West Virginia
And God created West Virginia - one of the most glorious places on earth. God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, "Where have you been?" God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is … [Read more...]
Darwin Award for Call Center Conversations
Darwin Award Contest — Actual Call Center Conversations from 2010 - WAY before even grandparents became computer/phone/tablet literate! Which gets your vote for the Darwin Award? Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help?' Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir?' Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.' Operator: 'Sir, … [Read more...]
Conversations with God
Man: God? God: Yes? Man: Can I ask you something? God: Of course! Man: What is for you a million years? God: A second. Man: And a million dollars? God: A penny. Man: God, Can you give me a penny? God: Sure. Wait a second. … [Read more...]
When Prayers Follow Your Children to School
A mom was concerned about her kindergarten son, Timmy, walking to school. He didn’t want his mother to walk with him. She wanted to give him the feeling that he had some independence but yet know that he was safe. So she had an idea of how to handle it. She asked a neighbor, Mrs. Goodnest, if she would please follow him to school in the mornings, staying at a distance, so he probably wouldn’t … [Read more...]
Socially Unplugged: Successsful Businessman vs Twitter, Facebook & GPS
How a Successful Businessman Became Socially Challenged by Twitter, Facebook, Mobile Phones & GPS He thought about the 30 year business he ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter. He signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so his seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand … [Read more...]