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You are here: Home / Economic Rights / Stock Market Terms for Trying Times

Stock Market Terms for Trying Times

Last Updated on February 11, 2009 By Dr. Joyce Starr

Redefining the stock market with laugh ’til you cry – or stop crying – definitions.

BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no new electronic toys.

BROKER — What my broker has made me.

BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO — Corporate Fraud Officer.

FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.

P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use. [Actually a code word for what only CFO’s, CEO’s and Brokers gain from YOUR investments, always have and always will.]

STANDARD & POOR — Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.

WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

To your economic survival!

Dr. Joyce Starr

PS: If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.
If you had purchased $1000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
If you had purchased $1000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.
But—- if you had purchased $1000 worth of beer in a can, drank it all, then turned in the aluminum cans for a recycling refund, you will have $214.00.

Filed Under: Economic Rights, Shareholder Rights Tagged With: bear market, bull market, stock market, stock market terms

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About Dr. Joyce Starr

Dr. Joyce Starr founded Starr Publishing in 2007, including DrJoyceStarr.com and Starr Publications.com. She founded Rights Radio in 2008. She has authored over 20 books - many on rights-related topics.

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