How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing with Toxic People

Negative Energy – Toxic People – You Know the Type.

Let’s make one joint resolution for 2012.  We won’t let toxic people – persistently negative personalities – dictate our lives.

I chanced on a book that can’t be judged by the black border that swallows the cover…or the year it was first published (1999). The content is more current than the evening news. Stop suffering! Here’s the link to learn more + reviews.

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities

How to deal with Toxic People

How to deal with Toxic People

5.0 out of 5 stars Life-Changing Book, April 22, 2001

Amazon Verified Purchase

Dr. Lund’s book is one of the most influential books I have read. The subtitle to the book is “Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities.” His prior book “The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism,” contained some of the information in this current book, but “How to Hug a Porcupine” is better organized and more concise.

The book spends a large amount of time in identifying the characteristics of “emotional porcupines.” These emotional porcupines are usually people that seek to control their lives and the lives of others. They constantly throw emotional quills and consequently are difficult to hug without impaling one’s self. The most interesting part of the book is on how to live with a “porcupine.” The strength of this self-help book is that it gives you concrete ways to protect and arm yourself from the damaging quills of emotional porcupines.

Soon after reading this book, I changed my cell phone to read “No Critics”, to remind me of the damage that any criticism (there is no such thing as constructive criticism according to Lund) can do to others and to remind me to not criticize.

Dr. Lund’s book is full of insight and, most importantly, methods on how to improve yourself if you are a porcupine and also on how to deal with porcupines without damaging your own ego. Dr. Lund also has a tape out that covers similar material, but I believe was recorded well before he wrote this book. This is a book that can help anyone in their relationships with children, siblings, parents or spouses.


5.0 out of 5 stars How To Hug A Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to L, June 2, 2000
By A Customer

How To Hug a Porcupine should be read by every person who is in or has been in a toxic relationship. I found this book to be one of the most inspiring self-help books I have ever read. I found it difficult to read at times, because I felt I was reliving my past. Dr. Lund starts out with a very detailed Table of Contents, outlining every chapter. There are numerous case studies, I appreciated the fact that they didn’t always work out like the textbook said they should. There are quizzes to take. Specific step-by-step directions on how to help you become a more healthy person despite the porcupines in your life. Dr. Lund helps you learn how to use “armored gloves and other tools” in dealing with any toxic person – young, old, spouse, child. I have found many useful ideas in helping me become a more healthy person. This book is awesome, I highly recommend it!


5.0 out of 5 stars Dr Lund helped me survive living with an abusive person for so long….

Dr. John Lund, in his book How to Hug a Porcupine outlines the steps to living with someone who is difficult to love, toxic to be around and or abusive to you and others.

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Potential life changer.

Great book for content. My wife and I are reading it and we are learning some good things to try in or marriage. Read more.

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow…

I love this book. It discusses all types of people, & situations. I bought it primarily to gain some thoughts & insights about one of my daughters…

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities