Let’s make one joint resolution for 2012.  We won’t let toxic people – persistently negative personalities – dictate our lives.

I chanced on a book that can’t be judged by the black border that swallows the cover…or the year it was first published (1999). The content is more current than the evening news. Stop suffering! Here’s the link to learn more + reviews.

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities

How to deal with Toxic People

5.0 out of 5 stars Life-Changing Book, April 22, 2001

Dr. Lund’s book is one of the most influential books I have read. The subtitle to the book is “Dealing with Toxic and Difficult to Love Personalities.” His prior book “The Art of Giving and Receiving Criticism,” contained some of the information in this current book, but “How to Hug a Porcupine” is better organized and more concise.

The book spends a large amount of time in identifying the characteristics of “emotional porcupines.” These emotional porcupines are usually people that seek to control their lives and the lives of others. They constantly throw emotional quills and consequently are difficult to hug without impaling one’s self. The most interesting part of the book is on how to live with a “porcupine.” The strength of this self-help book is that it gives you concrete ways to protect and arm yourself from the damaging quills of emotional porcupines.

Soon after reading this book, I changed my cell phone to read “No Critics”, to remind me of the damage that any criticism (there is no such thing as constructive criticism according to Lund) can do to others and to remind me to not criticize.

Dr. Lund’s book is full of insight and, most importantly, methods on how to improve yourself if you are a porcupine and also on how to deal with porcupines without damaging your own ego. Dr. Lund also has a tape out that covers similar material, but I believe was recorded well before he wrote this book. This is a book that can help anyone in their relationships with children, siblings, parents or spouses.

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities

___________________

How To Hug a Porcupine should be read by every person who is in or has been in a toxic relationship. I found this book to be one of the most inspiring self-help books I have ever read. I found it difficult to read at times, because I felt I was reliving my past. Dr. Lund starts out with a very detailed Table of Contents, outlining every chapter. There are numerous case studies, I appreciated the fact that they didn’t always work out like the textbook said they should. There are quizzes to take. Specific step-by-step directions on how to help you become a more healthy person despite the porcupines in your life. Dr. Lund helps you learn how to use “armored gloves and other tools” in dealing with any toxic person – young, old, spouse, child. I have found many useful ideas in helping me become a more healthy person. This book is awesome, I highly recommend it!

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities

___________________

5.0 out of 5 stars Dr Lund helped me survive living with an abusive person for so long….

Dr. John Lund, in his book How to Hug a Porcupine outlines the steps to living with someone who is difficult to love, toxic to be around and or abusive to you and others. 

5.0 out of 5 stars Great book! Potential life changer.

Great book for content. My wife and I are reading it and we are learning some good things to try in or marriage. Read more.

5.0 out of 5 stars Wow…

I love this book. It discusses all types of people, & situations. I bought it primarily to gain some thoughts & insights about one of my daughters…

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing With Toxic & Difficult to Love Personalities

How to Hug a Porcupine: Dealing with Toxic People originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on January 12, 2012.

Europeans ban US body scanners.

The controversy over airport body scanners – and how safe they are – is taking on new urgency after European authorities this month banned the machines after studies linked them to a small number of cancer cases.

The same type of backscatter scanners, which emit low-level radiation, are used at dozens of U.S. airports, including Fort Lauderdale, Hollywood and Orlando international airports.

Sari Koshetz, spokeswoman for the Transportation Security Administration, said it wouldn’t be appropriate to comment on the Nov. 14 decision by the European Commission, which affects all airports in Europe. But she maintains the scanners are safe, even for pregnant women and children.

“We rigorously test our technology to ensure it meets our high detection and safety standards before it is placed in airports,” she said.

Still, Steve Landes, director of the South Florida Airline Commuters Association, which has several hundred frequent flier members, said those who have to fly two to three times a week might want to avoid the scanner.

“Let’s put it this way, I would have to be a fool to say I wouldn’t have any concerns,” said Landes, of Boyton Beach.

The backscatter scanners use low-level radiation to detect dangerous items, notably explosives, on passengers. The TSA also uses a second type of scanner that relies on millimeter-wave technology, or radio waves, to search for dangerous items.

Those machines, which health authorities consider to be safer, have been installed at eight commercial airports in Florida, including those in Miami and Palm Beach.

Koshetz said the decision to install the radiation-emitting backscatter scanners in Fort Lauderdale in May 2010 was “complex” and involved numerous factors, including checkpoint configuration and the availability of those scanners at the time.

Helping to convince European authorities to impose the ban was a recent PBS Newshour/ProPublica report, which said: “Research suggests that anywhere from six to 100 U.S. airline passengers each year could get cancer from the machines.” Scientific American also ran a story, detailing the results of the PBS/ProPublic investigation.

The report follows previous studies that had also concluded the scanners could trigger cancer cases among the tens of millions of passengers who pass through airports each year.

 

Only 300 dangerous or illegal items

With more than 250 backscatter scanners at 100 of the busiest U.S. airports, only 300 “dangerous or illegal” items have been identified since January 2010.  The TSA doesn’t won’t tell us how many were actually dangerous.  What were the costs in dollars and cancer risk per each dangerous item?

Airport Scanners – European Commission Bans US Backscatter Scanners – Cancer Risks originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on December 1, 2011.

Non-smoker Rights eBook

The real objective was to stop owners from smoking inside their units, but without directly attacking smokers. I opened the bulletin with “cooking” and closed it with “food.” Perhaps you could use a similar document in your condo. Feel free to share it with your board and manager.

For years, my arguments regarding the dangers of secondhand smoke fell on deaf ears. I was victimized by the smoker next door and frequently attacked when I raised the issue at Board meetings. Researching the laws and hoping to help others fight back, I wrote the book, Secondhand Smoke Crimes. Gift the paperback to your neighbors or download the eBook version.

Today, to their great credit, our Board and property manager are pressing forward with environmental initiatives. I didn’t give up, and neither should you.

Healthy Environment – Clean Air

Dear owners and tenants:

Our condo association earned a prestigious environmental award in 2011. The Board and Management are taking active steps to create a healthy environment and clean air for all residents. As you know, we share a common air conditioning and heating system.

Here’s how you can help.

1) Do not leave your unit door open when cooking. Cooking fumes settle into the hallway carpets and walls. Do not leave your unit door open in an attempt to cool your apartment. We want to reduce, not increase, our common electricity costs.

2) Do not smoke inside your unit. When a smoker opens his/her unit door, cigarette fumes and toxins travel into the corridors and remain there for the long-term. You have a right to smoke on your balcony with the door closed. Please do not inflict your habit on your neighbors.

3) Do not smoke in the pool area. The pool is a common area. Smoking is prohibited in common areas – even outdoors within the private property!

4) Do not leave food or sodas on your balcony, at the pool or in other common areas – including the trash room. Food attracts ants and other undesirable creatures. The Association spends a considerable amount of money each month to prevent infestation. Please do your part to ensure a healthy environment.

From fellow unit owners and tenants,

Thank you for your support!

Related Post:

Cigarette Addicts: How they Rob Your DNA & Threaten Your Life

Condo Health – Clean Indoor Air – No Smoking Inside Your Unit originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on August 18, 2011.

With over 250 million tweets a day and a billion Facebook posts, is it a wonder that many ‘thought-leaders’ can no longer hear themselves think, let alone solve the problems that confront us? How much time do Members of Congress waste tweeting or facebooking – and to what purpose? Perhaps a day or two of relative silence by national leaders would do us all a world of good.

US Library of Congress poet laureate Philip Levine wrote a poem about too many words in 1999: “He Would Never Use One Word Where None Would Do.”

“Fact is, silence is the perfect water:
unlike rain it falls from no clouds
to wash our minds, to ease our tired eyes,
to give heart to the thin blades of grass
fighting through the concrete for even air
dirtied by our endless stream of words.”

I recently participated in a teleseminar about the relationship between social networking and the business bottom line. The speaker owns a company that markets social networking strategies to companies large and small.

He opened the teleseminar by bragging that he personally follows several thousand tweets every day while handling a myriad of tasks for his business. I asked myself, “And he hasn’t yet lost his mind?”

It’s well known that multi-tasking makes us less, not more productive – creating distraction and noise on the brain. Could keeping up with thousands of tweets and Facebook posts daily eventually numb or even destroy our brain cells – something like a “repetitive stress social networking syndrome?”

The fellow went on to state that the average gain for companies that vigorously employ Twitter and Facebook is an 8 percent increase in the bottom line. If true, it could mean a great deal of money for medium size and large companies who can afford to hire staff to keep their social networks humming. (Since he’s trying to sell social networking, his numbers might be suspect.)

He even suggested that business owners encourage their staff to post their thoughts throughout the day and then follow the chatter – like an internal Twitter on steroids. Can you imagine the chairman of a billion dollar company having nothing better to do? Would you invest in that company?

But what about small business owners and entrepreneurs who are already stretched thin? Is keeping up with Twitter and Facebook a plus or a drain on your productivity and income? Can you handle it with current staff or is it necessary to add staff? How do the financial benefits compare to the costs and time output?

We’d love to hear from you!

Social Networking + the Bottom Line: When is Silence the Perfect Water? originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on August 11, 2011.

We all love coupons — the prospect of saving money in harsh economic times. But is Extreme Couponing addictive? What are your views? Listen and/or read below.

Is there a dividing line between savvy couponing and Extreme Couponing?

Where is the milk?

There’s a show about Extreme Couponing on cable. We see women (and a few men) spend the majority of their waking hours cutting coupons from 4 or 5 newspapers, finding and printing website coupons and filing coupons. They organize the coupons in large binders, often several binders.

Tiny tots cuts coupon for fun.

A few hours a week, perhaps even daily, they force their kids to do the same. Tiny tots, only 4 or 5 years old. Kids of all ages. We’re told the children love it, that they’re enthralled by the “life lesson.” Give me a break.

Did you love sitting at a table for hours at a time with your mom doing something so boring when you were a kid? Shouldn’t they be out playing, doing homework or just being kids?

Grocery store attack

Extreme Couponers attack. They drive to the store and buy thousands of dollars of goods they can’t use or won’t use for years, for nothing or close to it. We see them doing this repeatedly.

They don’t purchase the healthiest food for their kids. No, they buy boxes upon boxes of cereal full of sugar, just because these brands are on sale. Cans contain aluminum. Aluminum is not healthy. An occasional can of food or soda won’t harm you. But a diet of canned foods and soda can reduce the years and/or health quality of your life. So far as we see on the show, that’s what their children live on.

The show seems to be more about how to scam stores than wise advice on how to save money. One woman purchased a year’s worth of diapers. She isn’t pregnant and doesn’t have children. But she beamed at the camera: “When I do get pregnant, I’ll have the diapers.”

Little or no fresh food as possible

Note – and this is very important. The televised Extreme Couponer is never observed stacking a cart with fresh fruit and vegetables for her children. Stores and websites don’t coupon perishable items as frequently or generously as they do non-perishable goods. The Extreme Couponer leaves the store with 4 or 5 carts. But there is little or no fresh food in her/his cart. Not even milk. What are their children eating? Canned foods, candy, sodas, junk?

Empty shelves

Extreme Couponers are indirectly taking money from the pockets of fellow buyers. How? Let’s say you heard about a sale on bottled water, but the Extreme Coupon person got there first.

She doesn’t buy 7 or even 14 bottles for the week. No, we observe the couponer throwing every available bottle into her cart. Hundreds of bottles. The shelf is now bare.

I’ve seen entire shelves remain empty for days, perhaps even a week, before the store can restock. You’re forced to waste time and gas on a follow-up visit or find another store with the same item.

The Extreme Couponer picks up a hundred or more of the same item, just because she/he can. Many resell it. A few,
we’re told, give a portion of their stash away to soldiers and families in need – or just kids in the neighborhood who enjoy a treat.

Wait in line

The Extreme Couponer can take a half hour or more to check out – given all the items and coupons to be scanned. Frequently, the cash register breaks or shuts down from excessive coupon scanning. Then the check-out clerk is instructed by a manager to count all the coupons by hand. (Bet she/he loves that job.) Meanwhile, you’re left waiting in line or with one less register to help you save time.

An Extreme Coupon hoarder returns home and stacks her goods in every available corner, including the living room and one or more bedrooms (a child’s bedroom, naturally). She’s ecstatic.

Seven Eleven

The house looks like a Seven Eleven. Cardboard boxes, cans, stuff which emits chemicals into the air and decomposes over time. The family is breathing Coupon Addiction night and day.

No matter. The Extreme Coupon hoarder is able to save enormous sums of money. The costs in health, quality of life and consequences for your life are not important. One thing is certain: One a person takes this path, there’s no turning back. Healthy activities, creativity, education and/or professional endeavors are pushed to the back of the proverbial shelf.

Extreme Couponing can become your chosen field for life. It’s addicting.

Extreme Couponing. Is it the New Addiction? Couponing Pros & Cons. originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on June 10, 2011.

Click the play button to Listen:

America has proven that we’re the best. We’ll hunt down and eliminate enemies, even if it takes a decade, $1.2 trillion and the loss of our national “treasure” (American soldiers). Isn’t it time that we dedicate accelerated resources to the war against mind-erasing enemies within – autism and Alzheimer’s?

Consider:

• The CDC estimates that 1 out of every 100 American children will be diagnosed with autism. Males are four times more likely to have autism than females. Autism was first discovered in American children in 1943, twelve years after ethyl mercury (thimerosal) was added to the pertussis vaccine. It was discovered in Europe in the 1950s, after thimerosal was added to European vaccines.
• One out of every 8 adults over the age of 65 will suffer loss of memory, sense of identity and ability to function from dementia and Alzheimer’s (as compared to…well, the numbers were too low a century ago to count, or as some argue, we died too young??) The number of people with Alzheimer’s is reportedly doubling every 5 years. Nearly half of people aged 85 and older have the disease.

Yet, we still don’t have a real hope of finding cures. The official National Institute of Health terrifying definition of autism:

Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a range of complex neurodevelopment disorders, characterized by social impairments, communication difficulties, and restricted, repetitive, and stereotyped patterns of behavior.  Autistic disorder, sometimes called autism or classical ASD, is the most severe form of ASD, while other conditions along the spectrum include a milder form known as Asperger syndrome, the rare condition called Rett syndrome, and childhood disintegrative disorder and pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (usually referred to as PDD-NOS).  Although ASD varies significantly in character and severity, it occurs in all ethnic and socioeconomic groups and affects every age group.

It’s certain that our food, environment and life-style are making us sick. Not only Americans. South Korea recently discovered that it has an autism epidemic in its grade schools — more than twice the rate usually reported in the developed world. They didn’t  know until they completed a comprehensive study of 7-12 year old children in a single middle class city.

We certainly don’t eat the same food, breathe the same air . Or do we? Fast food, genetically modified food and bad food is pandemic. Cigarette smoke is pandemic. Air pollution knows no boundaries. The content of “best selling” vaccines remains the same. Drug companies can’t think of enough ways to put us out of our misery.

What makes it even more tragic is that the man in charge of vaccinations for autism was arrested for money laundering and is allegedly a  flat-out liar. Mothers/dads have been shouting for years that the source of the disease was connected to vaccinations. They were largely ignored or worse.

SafeMinds first voiced concerns in 2003 “regarding a series of epidemiology studies out of Denmark and under the jurisdiction of Thorsen that provided the basis for the Institute of Medicine’s claim that there was no association between thimerosal and autism. That claim has been responsible for the continued unsafe use of mercury in influenza vaccines in the United States and infant vaccines around the world.”

Poul Thorsen, principal coordinator of multiple studies funded by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) that were used to deny a vaccine/autism link was indicted on April 13th on 13 counts of fraud and 9 counts of money-laundering. The charges relate to funding for work he conducted for the CDC, which claimed to disprove associations between the mercury-based vaccine preservative, thimerosal, and increased rates of autism.

It’s time that we get our house in order, that we ensure that young and old who live in our house can remember who we once were.

To your memory,

Dr. Joyce Starr

Autism, Alzheimer’s and National Security – Lost Memory of Who We Were originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on May 10, 2011.

I’m proud to say that I host and produce the Rittenhouse Review, the hotel’s very own radio show. (Click the blue box on the Rittenhouse home page that says Listen and Learn about upcoming events.)

The most recent episode – featuring the 5:30 am Royal Wedding breakfast – was so much fun that I want to share it with you.

Rittenhouse Hotel Royal Breakfast

David Benton, Vice President and General Manager, and his creative staff, put the guest first – right where we belong, with a rich broth of ongoing events. Bravo. The Rittenhouse is a Philadelphia treasure, and Philadelphia is the best city on the East Coast to have an affordable, fantastic time.

Rittenhouse VP David Benton & Honorary British Consul General Oliver St. Clair Franklin, O.B.E

Frankly, listening to David recount current and ongoing events – in the city and hotel – makes me envious.

People can have an incredible experience for less than the cost of a good dinner in most cities – wine tastings, afternoon teas, fantastic museums (the amazing Cleopatra Exhibit selected Philly, as did King Tut), biggest flower show in the United States, food happenings every weekend and a duck boat that travels by land and sea.

David highlights the first National Museum of American Jewish History on Independence Mall, enjoyed by immigrants, children of immigrants and people of all ethnic backgrounds.

Related Rittenhouse Posts:

Hotel Security: India Hotel Attacks – Lessons Learned

RIGHTSRadio.com features hotel security in the aftermath of the hotel attacks in India. What will it take to improve hotel security? If you’re planning a vacation or any type of travel that involves a hotel, don’t miss my interview with the Rittenhouse Hotel Vice …

Rittenhouse Hotel: Diamond on Philadelphia’s Historic Rittenhouse Square

A guest-friendly hotel to the rescue for weary business travelers, holiday seekers and those who wanted to be treated like they really matter. I can’t stand the stagnant air, repetitive furniture and poor service of most hotels. Then I found the Rittenhouse Hotel (RittenhouseHotel.com), a diamond on Philadelphia’s beautiful Rittenhouse Square. On arriving, …

Rittenhouse Hotel Royal-Tea: Visitors Treated like Royalty in Philadelphia originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on April 29, 2011.

“A great poem [poet] can move you, shake you and remind you what
it is to be human.” ~ Oprah

Victor Hector Rodriguez, an institution builder, dedicated his life to the empowerment of Latinos in the United States by developing participatory organizations and leadership projects. He also ran for  the D.C. City Council three times – unsuccessful, but unbowed. An astute businessman, entrepreneur and person of immense heart, he’s written hundreds of poems for loved ones and friends over the years. We urge him to bring his words to the world at large.

You may hear your own inner voice through his art – and perhaps return home from a long journey.

I found his poem tucked between treasured papers, along with handwritten notes from my mom. When I reread it, I felt a positive arrow piercing my heart, one that carried the message: This poem can bring comfort in our challenging and troubled times.

“Swept away was my soul
on this voyage across time,
to strange and fascinating places
I would roam;
in search of life’s true meaning
so far away from home…”

I hope you will enjoy our YouTube Video. Readers and listeners can contact the author: rcomnet1 at aol.com

Are you a gifted writer/author? Please visit StarrPublishing.com for more about our book coaching services. Or phone 786.693.4223 to speak with me directly.

~ To your spiritual journey!

Dr. Joyce Starr

Seeking Safe Harbor – Your Life’s Journey, Life Quest by V. Hector Rodriguez originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on March 20, 2011.

“I define courage as moving forward in spite of utter terror; to overcome the burden of another person’s feelings; and to make a connection between activating triggers and our own behavior.” ~ James Krehbiel

Cognitive Distortions: The lenses through which we look at reality. Underlying Asumptions: The core interpretations that we make about our lives.

Questions raised during the interview (listen to hear his answers):

• What prompted you to write Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life?
• What is the “magical illusion” of childhood that many people carry into adulthood?
• What are some negative interpretations that adults internalize during childhood?
• Why do some adults from troubled childhoods live productive lives, whereas others replicate the past?
• What are some examples of ineffective parenting? Positive parenting?
• What are some of the characteristics that adults demonstrate that show the long-term effect from inadequate parenting? What does a triumphant life look like?
• How would you describe cognitive therapy?
• How does one process the pain of their past?
• What coping strategies do people use to avoid their pain?

More from James Krehbiel:

Healing the Battle Scars of Youth

Overcoming childhood trauma is possible. Most people are able to forgive themselves for having lost significant aspects of quality life due to abuse. Forgiveness comes when they are able to understand that the trauma was not their fault – in other words, they coped with things the best they could. Then they can accept it, grieve it, and release the pain of the past and learn to live joyously in the present.

One afternoon I received a telephone call from an anxious young man in his mid-20s. He wanted to see me for counseling regarding a relationship problem. I asked him the typical scheduling question: “Tell me what might work for you in terms of availability?”

His response was “How about in an hour?” Fortunately, his urgent request worked for me. Alex was a massive-sized former Big- 10 football player who came for the first time to therapy to find answers to his problems. After getting comfortable in my office, he said, “I’m so upset because my partner just broke it off with me; “She says I’m too intense – she’s probably right.”

Without taking another breath, he continued – “And my father died suddenly.” – “I’m sorry to hear about your losses – “How long ago was your Dad’s death?” “He died of a heart attack 15 years ago and it was devastating.” The tears started flowing. “Do you think there’s some connection between my two losses?”

According to a recent collaborative health officials report conducted by an Adverse Childhood Experience Team from the Center for Disease Control and Kaiser Permanente, almost 60% of American adults have been affected by troubled childhoods. Problems ranged from various forms of parental abuse and neglect. Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life: Healing from the Battle Scars of Youth was written to underscore Americas’ problems associated with the impact of adverse childhood experiences on adult functioning.

For a variety of reasons, a sibling may act as an abuser. Often, the victimization constitutes a “trickle-down” effect from parents who are engaged in hostile interpersonal behavior. Both sibling and parental neglect and abuse create significant emotional damage. Both can have long-lasting effects.

I offer solution-focused strategies, based on the principles of cognitive therapy, to assist adults in overcoming the perils of their past. It is interesting to note that most adults affected by troubled childhoods believe that they were responsible for creating their own childhood misery.

When adults feel emotionally frozen due to a history of childhood troubles, I urge them to give up the interpretation that they held any responsibility for what happened to them as children. Kids who endure troubled childhoods tend to perform to please in order to gain the love and validation of their parents.

When emotional affirmation is not forthcoming, children become disappointed and turn their anger inward, holding themselves accountable for the parent’s neglectful behavior. By owning their parents problems, kids can maintain the magical illusion that their parents behavior is adaptive, thus minimizing the pain of their dilemma. As troubled children enter into adulthood, they typically maintain the illusion that someday their parents will morph and become the loving caregivers they’ve always wanted.

When adults finally grasp the concept that a troubled childhood was not their fault, there is usually an emotional reaction. This realization often leads to a flood of feelings about the unfairness of what they experienced. Sadness, hurt, disappointment, loss and anger follow. As adults grieve the loss associated with a troubled childhood, they are forced to “swallow the bitter pill” and begin a process of reframing and rebuilding their life.

Through learning to accept, grieve, process and release a troubled past, adults can move forward and lead a productive life by reframing the past and rationally responding to life in the present. Note: This case is a composite drawn from my practice as a psychotherapist. It has been altered to protect the individual’s right to confidentiality and privacy.

James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC, CCBT is an educator, writer, licensed professional counselor and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. He specializes in treating anxiety and depression for adults and children. He served as a teacher and guidance counselor for 30 years and has taught graduate- level counselor education courses for Chapman University. In 2005, he self-published Stepping Out of the Bubble: Reflections on the Pilgrimage of Counseling Therapy (Booklocker.com). His latest book, Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life: Healing from the Battle Scars of Youth (New Horizon Press) is about the impact of adverse childhood experiences on adult functioning. He can be reached through his website at www.scottsdaletherapy.net. You can also reach James at 602.206.8975

Do you believe that childhood trauma can be permanently overcome? We welcome your comments.  Email addresses will not be shared for any purpose.

Related Post:

Surviving Childhood Trauma: Family Abuse is a Backstory – How Do You Move On?

Surviving childhood trauma and abuse – how do you move on? Our guest not only survived, but overcame childhood trauma steeped in an abusive family situation – on a path to an MBA and a happy family of her own. Listen to Dr. Joyce Starr’s interview with Karen Flyer on the …

Overcoming Childhood Trauma: Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on March 3, 2011.

Unfortunately, this rule doesn’t yet affect current owners and renters, We’re hoping to change the documents in 2011.

Neighbors are beginning to realize that their lives are also on the line. An ardent foe (living on a line soaked in smoke) died of a sudden heart attack. The former Board treasurer – an addicted smoker – who used every device possible to block our efforts – is dying from her addiction, now just a shadow of the person she used to be.

How can I convey the daily revulsion when entering and leaving my home through a fog of fumes and toxins – a gift from the smoker addict next door. Your nervous system goes into overdrive just to cope. Words are inadequate to express the powerlessness, shock, horror – knowing that a vile neighbor is joyfully reducing the years and quality of one’s life. Your throat aches, your heart muscles tighten as the body goes into flight/fight mode.  And there’s nothing you can do – but continue to educate, move or sue.

The smoker is also killing himself (according to his doctor), his son (who lives with him) and their guests. He doesn’t care.

Recipient 2010 Best Books Award

Florida International University recently announced that cigarettes would no longer be tolerated on campus. Not even in cars. Bravo! Many campuses are doing the same. Aren’t they afraid of lawsuits? Surely so, but wise educators realize that the nature of this crime is worth the risk. Caught smoking in a car or anywhere on the grounds, a fine will follow.

While Florida’s state representatives – Democrats & Republicans – are still in the cowardly grip of the tobacco lobby, smokers are being treated as petty criminals by braver states across the union.

Given what we ALL know today about the effects of secondhand smoke, those who light up in front of others – particularly children – are selfish, abusive and heartless individuals. Those who enable smokers are only one step away.

But when enablers are also in the healing profession, it boggles the mind. Here’s an example.

I was walking towards the elevator when the smoker’s son and the son’s apparent girlfriend appeared. It was a terrible week. The fumes were unbearable. I was coughing and choking daily. Visitors to my unit commented on the hideous smell in the corridor. My neighbors were suffering as well.

I hadn’t spoken  a word to the 30-something son in over a year. However, out of despair, I asked that he convince his father to smoke on the balcony. The girlfriend – a big woman, standing about 6 feet in heels, put her hand in my face and says, “Enough. We’ve heard enough from you.” I never spoke to the woman before. I had no idea who she was at the time. When I tried to say more, she was literally “in my face” – both physically and verbally aggressive.

I later learned that she’s studying to be a NURSE! I can only hope that her immune system protects her body as fiercely as she’s protecting daddy smoker.

I’ve known many smokers over the years and thought of most as nice people. Some of my closest friends were smokers. That was then; this is now. I now see smokers in a new light – as DNA robbers.

Recent studies on secondhand smoke are staggering.

The Surgeon General of the United States, Dr. Regina M. Benjamin, issued a report on Dec. 9 stating that inhaling just one cigarette a day could be enough to cause a heart attack and even death.

“The chemicals in tobacco smoke reach your lungs quickly every time you inhale, causing damage immediately,” Benjamin said in a statement. “Inhaling even the smallest amount of tobacco smoke can also damage your DNA, which can lead to cancer.”

And the more you’re exposed, the harder it is for your body to repair the damage.

Smoking also weakens the immune system and makes it harder for the body to respond to treatment if a smoking-linked cancer does arise.

The report said that tobacco companies deliberately designed cigarettes to be addictive and that they released new products portrayed as safer that were in fact just as dangerous and addictive. A third of people who ever try cigarettes become daily smokers, according to Dr. Benjamin.

The report also noted that cigarettes kill 443,000 people every year in the United States — one in every five people who die from cancer, heart disease and other causes – resulting in more than $193 billion annually in health care costs and loss of productivity.

Whether President of the United States or Speaker of the House, if you smoke in front of others, they will inevitably pay for your addiction with their DNA.

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Secondhand Smoke Abuse Against Women, Children, Pets: Second Hand Smoke as a Weapon

Winner of 2010 USA Book News Award: Secondhand Smoke Crimes by Dr. Joyce Starr tells a dramatic story about women and children victimized by secondhand smoke and what you can do to fight back. Dr. Joyce Starr and NY literary agent Karen Gantz discuss Secondhand Smoke Crimes.

Cigarette Addicts: How they Rob Your DNA & Threaten Your Life originally appeared on Rights Radio™ with Dr. Joyce Starr - An Independent Voice on January 20, 2011.